Knocking Down Doors

I have been avoiding this post for a very very very long time.  Five and a half months to be exact.    
Truth is, I'm moving to Nicaragua!  Some of of you may know this already, because I talk about it often and openly.  It is definitely not a secret.  However, for the last few months I have hid from all of the work I’ve needed to do in order to get myself there.  Why?  Well add a dash of uncertainty and handful of doubt and you’ve got yourself a case of extreme procrastination mixed with fear (a very dangerous combo). 

I have wrestled so hard with all these questions that weigh so heavily within me.  Am I making the right choice?  Is this where God is calling me?  If this is truly where I’m supposed to be than why is this so dang HARD?  And to be completely honest I don’t have straightforward answers for all of these questions.  But I do know that the Lord is STILL faithful through all my disbelief and uncertainty and doubt.

In the past few weeks, this section from the book ‘Love Does’ has continually popped into my head.

"I once heard somebody say that God had closed a door on an opportunity they had hoped for. But I’ve always wondered if, when we want to do something that we know is right and good, God places that desire deep in our hearts because He wants it for us and it honors Him. Maybe there are times when we think a door has been closed and, instead of misinterpreting the circumstances, God wants us to kick it down. Or perhaps just sit outside of it long enough until somebody tells us we can come in." -Bob Goff

I think for too long, I have been waiting for a sign.  For the clear audible voice of God to say “GO” or “STAY”.  The lack of these things has left me discouraged and paralyzed, unable to go in any direction at all.  But I love what Bob says.  That sometimes we want to do something that we know is right and good and God has given us a deep desire to do it.  When its all said and done, that is exactly how I feel about this opportunity.  So, I’m kicking down this very stubborn door and I’m moving to Nicaragua!

Now that we are all caught up on the past 6 months, here are many of the details you’ve been anxiously awaiting.

First, let me give you a little background.  In Nicaragua there is a Young Life camp, La Finca, and on this camp you will find a coffee farm.  There, some of the best coffee that Nicaragua has to offer is produced.  For the past 20 years Young Life has been using this coffee to lower the cost of camp for the young people of Nicaragua.  The kids pay 10% of their camp cost and the coffee sales cover the rest.  Previously, the business responsible for the coffee was known as Beyond Beans and operated with Young Life.  Moving forward, the business will have a new name, a new brand and will be owned by YL, but I won’t spill all the beans on that just yet (see what I did there?). 

Coffee that shares the Gospel.  Pretty sweet, right?

I thought so too, which is why I reached out to them last January.  I have always been passionate about coffee and Young Life and felt so excited about the chance to combine both things.  You may know, last August I moved to Costa Rica for 10 months to intern with Young Life.  Little did I know that during my time there, I would get connected with the folks in Nicaragua and be offered the opportunity to come work with them.  It all fell into place in an imperfect, not how you would expect, sort of a way.  But that’s a story for another time.  I will primarily be working on in-country sales, social media management and marketing with an initial one year commitment.  

As you might have guessed by now, I am responsible for raising my full salary.  We are talking about $30,000, to be exact.  My budget includes: a car, housing, food, gas, flights, health insurance, visa trips, and few other miscellaneous expenses.  In all honesty, raising my salary was my only hesitation in accepting this job.  I am so incredibly excited about every aspect of this... minus the fundraising.  But, they have asked me to do this so all funds can be directed to more kids going to camp and therefore more kids knowing Jesus.  At the end of the day, that is why I am here, funding my way to Nicaragua.  If you want to join me in this adventure prayerfully or financially or both, check out my get involved page for all the info on how to do so.

Jesus has been writing my story all along.  He hasn’t failed me yet and I’m certain this next chapter is no exception. So I'll trust Him in my doubt, and follow Him where ever He may call.  Whether that's Nicaragua or anywhere else in this broken, beautiful world.

Thanks so much for reading!

Adios for now,
Becca

Young Life Club in Managua, Nicaragua

Roasting Coffee at La Finca

An overdue update

Hello!  It has been almost four months since I've posted on here, oops.  It seems that the craziness of life caught me off guard.  I know you all are just dying to read about my life and have been refreshing your news feeds waiting for a new post from me, so this one is for you.  Here is a little update on what's been happening in the land of Costa.  It's all very exciting/thrilling so you may want to sit down while you read.  

• Young Life.  This semester is in full swing.  We are continuing with club on Fridays where we share a meal with our friends, talk about Jesus, and play some games (mostly Uno, which I'm thankful for because there is no strategy involved).  Coming up, we have YL Service Project, which is our version of YL camp here.  We will be headed to serve one of the indigenous villages of Costa Rica by building something long lasting for their community.  This provides an opportunity for our high school friends to work really hard and serve others while learning more about Jesus.  I can't wait.  There has also been a lot happening with the national ministry here that we've had the chance to be a part of.  In January, my fellow interns and I served on work crew for the national camp here.  It was incredibly different than a stateside camping experience.  There was no ropes course or fancy cabins or blob, but the campers legitimately had the best week of their lives.  They were engaged in everything that was happening and it was evident that they truly respected and admired their leaders; I truly respect and admire their leaders.  I walked away from camp exhausted, with much more knowledge on how to chop vegetables, and with an extremely full heart.  Young lives/Vida Jovenes is a part of the ministry that reaches teen moms.  They will be going to camp in just a few weeks and my team and I will be there serving as childcare.  I'm stoked to hold some babies for 2 straight days.  Yesterday we had a Mega Fiesta that brought together all of the YL clubs of Costa Rica.  They danced and I "danced" and laughed at myself a lot (my hips lie).  It was a blast.  I'm learning more and more every week about what it means to be a YL leader but mostly what it means to be a follower of Jesus.  He is good and I am forever grateful to be a part of this ministry. Below are some pics from Young life club, work crew, and the Mega fiesta last night!

       

       

• Community.  One of the many things I've learned in my time here is that ministry can't exist without community.  What good would we be if we stayed in our little YL bubble and never invited others into the work God is letting us do.  We are broadening our horizons and not just trying to reach high school kids, but also reach their parents and teachers and administrators.  These relationships matter.  People matter.  With that being said, our hope this semester is to build a solid community, or at least start that process, relationships take time.  We are looking for opportunities to just know people.  No angles, no agendas.  One thing I'm really excited about is the possibility of "working" (actually volunteering, legally I can't paid) at a coffee shop in the city I live in.  Even if just for a short period of time, I think it would be a great way to serve while also meeting people within the community.  And I'm over the moon about being able to make coffee again, truly.  I've missed my hair smelling like espresso everyday.  

• Life.  If I'm being completely honest, this season of life has probably been the weirdest, most confusing, challenging season thus far in my short 22 years.  I have no clue what I'm doing when I leave Costa Rica.  And it terrifies me.  I also tend to focus so much on what's next that I lose sight of all thats happening right now, today.  I want so badly to say with 100 percent certainty that I am A-okay with not knowing what I'm doing with my life, or tomorrow.  And that Jesus loves me so thats enough.  And that since I have carpe diem tattooed on my wrist (a tattoo that some of my friends **cough cough Hayley Schaefer** make fun of me for), I'm going to do just that; seize every moment and live in the now.  But if I'm continuing on this honesty train, I say thats all a bunch of crap.  Life is hard.  Period.  It's confusing, and frustrating and scary.  I feel under qualified for any and every job.  I feel like I'm not good enough.  I feel like I have no sense of direction and I don't know what I want to do or what I'm passionate about anymore.  I feel a lot of things, let me tell you.  I am overwhelmed by these feelings.  But I am also encouraged.  I'm encouraged by my friends and family speaking words of life into me.  I'm encouraged by the immense amount of hope we find in Jesus.  And I'm encouraged by the fact that life is hard to endure but not impossible, and feelings WILL pass.  I don't have any answers to my major life questions, but Jesus does.  So I'm learning how to listen to His voice and not the voice of fear.  I'm learning what true, confident faith is.  And I'm learning that you can't have faith with a but.  "I have faith that Jesus is going to show up in my life, but."  No no no, thats not how it works.  There is no but.  That completely rejects the whole essence of what faith is.  So I will continue to learn these things and try hard to listen to Jesus and not fear.  But that doesn't mean its gonna be easy.  

If you've made it this far, it means you've made through my ranting and also that you really love me.  Thank you for reading this and loving me and laughing with me/at me.  I am, as I like to say, hasthtag blessed.  

Forever Grateful,
Becca